"Paging Dr. Moses...."



Nestled deep in the heart of 81st and Lewis lies a doctor's office that really is not for the faint of heart, or nerves i guess i should say.... However, that is where Lindsey is established, so when she is sick, off we go to the middle of nowhere. Its almost like stepping into Narnia or something...



We managed to snag a 2:00 P.M. openning and we arrived a little early, JUST IN CASE, we could be seen a little earlier.  I was lucky enough to get in line behind a 30 something yr old who was griping at the poor receptionist because "President Obama was not giving her free health care and she still had to pay all these co-pays and her vitamins werent helpin' her back anymore...." I slowly tuned her out because my attention turned to Lindsey who had made a friend! A little boy her age was trying to coax her over to his chair, probably to talk her into nothing but mischevious toddler like things that would have gotten us kicked out of the doctors office. I grabbed her little hand and yanked her back over to me and asked her to be patient and wait in line with me which was probably just as useful as saying, "Sally sells seashells down by the seashore..." 

Im not sure how i appear as a mother to the outside world. I'd hope i look like June Cleaver with my hair all perfect and my dress starched and my children, all 5, still clean and polite in the late afternoon hours. I'd hope we all sit in silence and smile kind smiles at strangers and say lots of please's and thank you's....  However, i have a slight feeling i looked more like an exasperated hippo that could barely sit properly in her chair for gross pregnancy reasons while jerking a hyper and rule breaking toddler down next to me and asking her to "stop actin a fool in public".   *sigh

The nurse called for us so we made our way to the back. Shortcut brought us to the scales where we had to weigh and for some reason take our shoes off for our height. I get the reasoning behind it but really? She is 3 and sometimes we spend 4 hours in the morning alone juuuuuust putting our shoes on.... Does this lady not know the science behind toddlers and shoes? Measure her and deduct 1/2 in for shoes..? "Momma help me buckle my shoe..."  Um no, this kind nurse would love to help you though since this was her idea! Momma has a small buffalo inside her belly and even gravity wouldnt help her reach you!

The nurse asked the usual quesitons...."Has she had a fever? Is she coughing? Is her attention span going to be long enough for me to talk very slowly and softly while i ask you questions and she wanders the room looking for cool speculums to play with?"   

After 20 minutes, just me and Lindsey in this small room, and running out of games on my Iphone to play, Dr. Moses walked in.   I say Dr Moses, only because this must have been the oldest doctor still practicing. I wanted to ask him if he could see the "E" on the chart on the wall himself, but refrained from doing so. He said, "Well now, Lindsey, do you have a bird in your ear? Can i look in your ear?" (Do NOT ever ask a 3 year old if they have a small animal in their ears, please. Because they think they do, and it scares them and they cry and beg you to get it out....just a helpful hint if a missing bird was your choice for a peds distraction during medical school rotations) So after consoling Lindsey and promising over and over there was no such bird inside her ear and it was not going to hurt her, we were able to move forward with the visit. Until, the eye check...... where he decided to start up a rendition of "Where is Thumbkin" and Lindsey proceeded to giggle and scream/sing it at the top of her lungs.... and not stop......  Dr Moses said, "Well it does appear she has pink eye...(intermittent singing from Lindsey).... and we can sure get her on some eye drops...(Me: Lindsey please stop).... Has she been around other kids with pink eye?..... Me: No, but she was around a LOT of cow poop Saturday...... EUREKA!!!!! Then we have us some pink eye"     But instead of saying our thank you's, grabbing a script, and leaving, we had to talk about the peculiar wind we were having and my expected due date and had i considered cord blood banking and was i ready for more sleepless nights and... ( i tuned him out after that.... I had almost FORGOTTEN amongst my already sleepless nights, that in fact, here soon, id have less sleepless of nights, but luckily Dr Moses was sent my way to remind me)   Finally, we concluded and out the door we went. 

I sat in my Saturn, closed the door, and just took a deep breath....  Then i proceeded to Google how to produce mass quantities of this conjunctivitis ointment so i NEVA EVA had to go through this again!